Writing a successful memoir takes more than just pouring words out onto the page. Long-form writing is a lot like building a house. When building a house, you have to keep that final form in mind. All the parts of the house have to fit together plumb and level, have sturdy joints so that it lasts, and so people will want to stay in it for a time. Your story is the same–it needs to be cohesive as a whole, even though you’re building it one word at a time. Just like a house, to build a successful memoir, you need the right tools. In this week’s video, Amanda outlines the essential tools you’ll need to see your project through to the end.
Having a supportive community to be accountable to can really make all the difference to the writing process. Enrollment opens soon for the next cohort of The Memoir Method. Join the dozens of women who have used our system to start, finish, and publish their memoirs. Isn’t it time you seized the opportunity to get your story out there? Visit our Memoir Method homepage to learn more and apply today!
Core Topic and Key Message
If you’re a regular follower of this blog, you’ve heard us discuss how important it is to define your core topic and your key message. They are absolutely essential, so today we combine them into our first essential tool. Crafting a memoir requires a precise understanding of both your core topic and key message. The core topic serves as the backbone of your story, guiding which events to include and which to leave out. Meanwhile, the key message is the underlying truth or lesson that you wish to impart to your readers. By establishing these elements early on, you create a cohesive narrative where every scene contributes to the overall message, leading to a memoir that resonates deeply with readers.
It’s important to be clear that these are two different things, but they go very closely hand -in-hand, like two sides of the same coin. You want to make sure you have both clear in your mind, separately and how they work together. By distinguishing between the two, you can ensure that every scene and detail in your memoir serves a purpose, keeping your narrative focused and impactful. This dual focus also helps you avoid common pitfalls, such as including extraneous details that detract from the main story.
A successful memoir is one that has these two elements working together on every page, so that the reader knows both the subject and purpose of the story and how they are intertwined. Frequently when working with authors that have come to important decisions in their process of what to include, what to leave out, how to structure the story and other questions, Amanda and I will ask what is going to best serve your core topic and key message? When you have those two elements firmly in place, it acts as a North Star for all your other decisions.
Defining the Beginning and End of Your Story
When writing about your life, you might think defining the beginning and end is simple, because you lived your life in a relatively straight line order. But successful memoirs are not autobiographies, and should not attempt to tell the whole of your life experiences. This can be really challenging, because it’s hard to pin point what matters out of your life because of course, every minute of your life matters to you!
This is where we are coming back again already to our core topic and our key message. The beginning should mark the first significant event related to your core topic, while the ending should provide a satisfying resolution without extending too far beyond the main story. Without clear boundaries, it’s easy to lose focus and let your memoir become an unwieldy account of your entire life, rather than a compelling narrative with a clear beginning and end.
Structure and Outline
These are another two elements that actually two distinct things that work so closely together that it may be easy to conflate them. The difference between a structure and an outline is that structure is a common template that many, many books will follow, and an outline is a specific roadmap for your story.
There a many well-established ways to look at narrative structure. There’s the hero’s journey, 3, 4, or 5 Act structures, the save the cat method (originally established for screenwriting), the three unities, and others. In fact, you could easily spend years studying narrative structure, and it is a fascinating field that looks at how stories are formed and the commonalities between stories over thousands of years of human history.
But you don’t have to be an expert on narrative structure to write a successful memoir. Most of the guidance and instruction regarding structure out there are both focused on fiction and teaching writers how to write multiple books throughout a life-long career. If what you want to do is bring that one story of your life to the page, then you can take a simpler approach. Amanda and I developed the Memoir Method specifically to help writers take the key lessons of studying structure to apply to their writing process, without getting bogged down in complex structures like the hero’s journey that may not fit your exact story of feel intuitive to your process.
When you select the structure for your book, we recommend choosing what gives you the most wiggle room and leeway to customize it to your needs. This is not a place where we want to be perfectionists, because that will just cause frustration, self-doubt and totally stall your process. On the other hand, diving in and winging it without a structure in mind will only cause that road block to pop up somewhere along the line.
Once you have a clear idea of your structure, you can outline your whole memoir. The structure provides a framework that guides the flow of your story, while the outline acts as a detailed plan, ensuring that every part of your memoir serves the overall narrative. While many writers get caught up in choosing the “right” structure, the most important thing is to have a plan that works for you. With a clear outline, you’ll be able to navigate the complexities of memoir writing with greater ease and focus. An outline has a secondary benefit of being a visual marker of your progress. This is a long journey, so it helps to bring a map!
Accountability
The journey of writing a successful memoir can be isolating, making it easy to lose momentum. Accountability is a powerful tool to combat this, providing the external motivation needed to keep you on track. Whether you choose a one-on-one partner or join a writing group, the key is to establish regular check-ins that hold you accountable to your goals. These check-ins create a sense of responsibility and provide the encouragement needed to push through obstacles, ultimately increasing your likelihood of finishing your memoir.
It’s not always easy to find that perfect accounability buddy to keep you on track. We often shy away from asking our friends and families to take on the responsibility and to add our project to the list of things they have to think about every week. That can be a burden that we don’t want to ask just anyone to take on. Even if your friends are willing and able, they may struggle to find the balance between support and nagging, guiding you and getting in your way.
One way to help ensure this process is successful is by trading accountability so that it goes both ways and you can mutually agree on expectations for how you will show up for each other. In our Memoir Method program, we have weekly calls and check-ins that are open and loosely structured so that no matter where they are in the process, everyone can get the support and encouragement they need to keep going. We also try to keep our cohorts small. It’s easy to get lost in the big writing groups, When you know your presence won’t be missed in the dozens or even hundreds of writers gathering, the motivation is watered down and it’s easier to just slip out or fade away.
Learning from others writing a successful memoir
No writer creates in a vacuum, and memoir writing is no exception. Learning from others, whether through formal classes, online resources, or writing groups, can provide invaluable insights and inspiration. These interactions can help you overcome obstacles, refine your narrative, and approach your memoir with renewed confidence. By engaging with other writers and seeking out learning opportunities, you gain access to a wealth of knowledge that can greatly enhance your writing process and the quality of your memoir.
Now, it’s also easy to get lost down a rabbit hole of writing advice. We want to find the best balance we can between absorbing all we can about the writing process and using the learning as a procrastination tool to put off the doing.
Another way to learn from others and ensure we have a successful memoir is to set up a time and method for getting feedback. The more thoughtful and deliberate you are about how you get feedback, the better your experience will be. There are many ways to get feedback, from hiring a professional to choosing a well-read friend. When you have a completed draft, even one you have revised on your own, you will want to get feedback in order to see from another’s perspective how successful you were in delivering your core topic and key message. Hiring a professional to give you a manuscript review can be hugely valuable at this stage in the process, because they can give you insights both in how well you accomplished what you specifically set out to do and where the book might fit in the market when it’s published.
If, by chance, you’re planning to publish without getting formal feedback, keep in mind that you will get feedback, one way or another. People tend to share their opinions about what they read. Wouldn’t you rather have a chance to get feedback and act on it before you make your writing publically available?
