As the leaves turn bright orange and drift to the ground on this chilly, rainy day, we’re thinking about comfort.
Writing obliterates our comfort zones—we share buried stories, explore others’ perspectives, and pour our hearts onto the page, hoping readers will treat them with care.
But while we expect to push our own vulnerability, we often forget to embrace one crucial discomfort: saying “no.”
Over the past few weeks, we’ve met with several coaching clients who feel completely burned out. Everyone else needs their help. They need their advice. They need their time. They need their emotional energy. They need, need, need.
”By saying “no” to just one responsibility, most of us can free up an hour, maybe two, giving ourselves time and space to think, dream, and, yes, write.”
And suddenly others’ needs have completely crushed their own writing deadlines. With no energy, patience, or time, they push their writing to the back burner, carrying enormous shame along with the burden of others’ demands.
Writers. We’ve gotta start saying “no.”
I know it’s uncomfortable, but I promise—you can do it. By saying “no” to just one responsibility, most of us can free up an hour, maybe two, giving ourselves time and space to think, dream, and, yes, write.
Here’s an email script we’ve used in the past: “Dear Alex, Although I’ve been looking forward to helping you with your project, unfortunately, I’m overloaded with responsibilities at the moment. I’d be happy to help if you can wait until early January. Otherwise, I’ll have to step back for now—let me know if you’d like me to brainstorm a few people who might be able to take my place. Thank you for understanding.”
Uncomfortable? Sure. But also generous, reasonable, and—trust us—completely relatable to everyone you know.
Others’ priorities shouldn’t take precedence over your own. And while your writing won’t email you every other day asking for an update, it deserves the same level of care you give your coworkers, friends, and family members.
What could you accomplish if you prioritized your writing? Who could you say “no” to today?
