Writing your first book can feel so intimidating. It feels like there’s so much to learn, so much to know, so much to be as a published author. It can also be a little isolating, working on a long-form project without external validation telling you you’re on the right path. Sustaining your confidence and motivation throughout that process is a struggle for many writers, and sometimes that makes writers wonder if they should be writing in the first place. Sometimes, it’s that mindset itself holding back your writing. This week’s video and blog below explores signs you might be stuck in the wrong mindset and how to break out of it so you can finish that book!
Sometimes when you don’t know how to start, it can stall your dreams for months, even years. We have helped so many writers not only get started but see the project through the very end! We have created a great free resource to help you make a plan to finally tell the story that lives in your heart. Download the free Memoir Method Checklist today to get started.
Often when we’re working with authors, we see many of the same barriers come up, blocking the writer’s progress. These authors are smart and talented and have amazing stories to tell, but they just struggle to make progress. When we sort through all the things holding back the progress, we often discover that these barriers are an illusion. The come in disguise as external obstacles, but really they are issues of mindset.
Mindset Warning Signs
Writing a book takes a high degree of confidence that you are worthy and ready to share your story. Nagging little voices of doubt and self-criticism can get in the way of that, and they can put up these little detours and excuses that can quickly get you off track. There are several signs you can look for that show it’s not lack of ability or preparation getting in your way, but actually your mindset holding back your writing and causing procrastination.
Edutainment as procrastination
It’s true that writing a book takes a good bit a know-how and you need to spend some time learning the craft before you can really begin. You learn about outlining process, structure and pacing, perspective, and any number of other elements of the art of writing. There are seemingly endless sources for this information, this blog included. It can feel like an unending task if you’re aiming to take it all in before you begin. Soon, watching more youtube and ordering another how-to book off Amazon becomes a way not to add to your well of knowledge, but to put off starting the work another day, another week, another month.
There comes a time when you know what you need to start. Some elements of writing, like developing your voice, can only be learned by doing. When you feel like you’re hearing a lot of the same things over and over, it’s time to set aside the how-tos and start.
Self-doubt and writer’s block
Everyone experiences some form of procrastination and avoidance, but perhaps writers more than others. We even have a cute little name for it: “writers block.” We’ve written before about how professionals break through writer’s block. Often, the real source of writer’s block is a deep-down sense that you are not good enough to write this story. You might feel under-qualified. After all, you’ve never written a book before. But writing is a qualification you earn by doing. Your story deserves to be told, and you’re the only one who can tell it. It’s counter intuitive, but true that way writers become “qualified” to write their books is by writing the book, learning all along the way and making it better through revision. Trust the process.
Hiding from your support
A big third tell that mindset is holding back your writing is hiding your book from your support system. Everyone’s support system will look a little different–from friends and family to online groups. Sometimes our instinct is to be vague and protective of this process, envisioning that there will be time when we can step out of the shadows and announce we’ve birthed a wonderful book when it’s all done and polished. You may not want to outsource your thought process or workshop a work-in-progress at every step of the way, but you do yourself, and your support system, a disservice by not allowing them to support you. Talk about your progress; invite them to cheer you on.
Breaking through excuses
One of the most common ways mindset holds us back from our writing is through excuses. There are always going to reasons not to write and why you didn’t write when you planned or wanted to. It’s easy to mistake an excuse that actually comes from our mindset as a real, concrete barrier in front of us. When we dig deep into our “reasons why we can’t” we can often find a sense of protection. It’s not our fault that we didn’t write this week because A, B, and C. If we can heal our mindset of not being ready or worthy of writing, we can see that these excuses aren’t obstacles, but walls we’re putting up ourselves.
Time
One of the most common excuses about writing–or really any goal we set ourselves–is that we don’t have enough time. It’s true, time is finite. So is our energy. But often when we say “we don’t have time” what we’re hiding from ourselves is that we shuffled writing too far down the priority list, and it fell right off. Making progress on your book–making telling your story a priority–means that sometimes you’ll be writing when there are other options for things you could or should be doing. It means writing when there are dishes in the sink. Writing when you could be sleeping in another hour. Writing instead of your Monday night TV show. Writing instead of spin class.
The time is there, and shuffling priorities around is hard. Practice making writing one of the things that can’t be put off because you care too much about it, and you’ll find something else to fall of the list.
Just one more prep week
Writing does take a lot of preparation. We often tell beginning writers to be patient with yourselves in the preparation stage, slowing down to speed up by organizing your stories and creating a solid plan and outline. There genuinely is a period of time when you need to put in that prep work, do more research, learn about the process, and gather all your tools. But there is also a time to move on from prep into doing. If you find yourself saying, “oh, I’ll just read this one more memoir” or “I just just need a bit more research” and pushing back your real start date week after week, you are probably not prepping anymore, but procrastinating.
There are many steps you can continue to take alongside your writing process to support your book. Details can be researched as needed. You can keep reading similar memoirs and writing advice in your down time to help you along. The goal of preparation period is not to be “done” in the sense you’ve consumed and researched everything possible. The goal of preparation is not “all” but “enough.”
Waiting for permission
Memoir in particular carries with it a special weight because while it’s your story, you’re not alone in it. Your other “characters” are real people. Some of them may even be the villain in your narrative.
You do not need outside permission to tell your story, only your own. So give yourself permission to start.
Waiting for lightning
Myths of muses and inspiration show ideas like flashes of lightning that crash into your brain, complete and totally realized, from heaven above. I have known and worked with many writers, so I’m sorry to tell you that’s not how it works. Inspiration can “strike” you, but if you’re here, reading about how to get going on your book, it already has.
Inspiration doesn’t come with all the trimmings and work already laid out for you like a paint by number. It’s just a little spark. Something in the back of your heart and mind that says there’s a story there. That’s all inspiration is, and all it ever can be. If you’re waiting for more; it’s not coming, so you might as well get started.
Happy Writing.
