Lately, we’ve been talking a lot about building a speaking career. A book is a great way to get your foot in the door to start speaking, and it can also be a great tool to push you up to the next level as a speaker.
Most of the articles we’re sharing bring together several different speaking experts, but this blog post is a little different.
Jeremy Clark agreed to speak with me about how his book launched his speaking career, and his advice was so strong and clear that I wanted to share the entire interview with you. Below you can read about how a chance occurrence drove him to write a book, how that book lead to his first speech, and how he’s created a system designed to propel him forward to his goals.
And, as a side note, if you’re looking for an amazing mindset coach, Jeremy is absolutely your guy! You can find him on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter, and download his free eBook “Overcome Fear & Make Confident Decisions.”
Read on for the full interview.
Amanda: Jeremy, hello!
Jeremy: Hey.
Amanda: I’m so excited to talk to you. I work with a lot of clients who are trying to write a book so that they either can level up their speaking, or in a lot of cases, so they can start speaking, develop their message, get it out there, but they really want to be in front of people. I think you’re somebody really that my clients are going to be really excited to hear from.
I was especially drawn to you because your talks focus on having a positive mindset. You speak with what you call “high-potential audiences,” and you talk to schools a lot. That’s great. I love it!
Jeremy: I think it’s important to spread the message of mastering your own emotions to get to where you want to get to, because that is the goal of life in my eyes, to get to something. Every human being has a goal that they want to attain, whether that’s a relationship or financial stability or whatever that may be. That path requires you to understand your emotions and understand which emotion is going to best serve me.
Amanda: That’s exactly right, because even if you’re on the right path, sometimes stuff doesn’t go well. If you just fall completely apart at that point, then you’ll never get any further.
Jeremy: The thing about it is failing is a part of the process. You need to understand what emotions come with your particular failures.
Not everybody experience failures the same. We can all feel sad about what happened, but we experience sadness differently. How do you deal with your own sadness? Is it a motivator? Is it something that makes you not work? You have to understand what that is for you and then understand how to deal with that so you can move forward. That’s important.
Amanda: Yes. I love that you’re an emotional intelligence expert, because there is also this layer of like, what even is this feeling? Is this sadness? Is it anger? What is happening in my body?
Jeremy: What I figured out on my journey is everyone has an opinion and everyone has a book, but the reason is because everyone experiences the same emotions differently. Everyone experiences happiness differently, everyone experiences fear differently, but what do you do with the emotion that you’re feeling?
Amanda: Yes. I love it. I can tell, you keep bringing it on back to that, that is the hallmark of a really good speaker. [laughs] Speaking of which, how did you get into motivational speaking?
Jeremy: I was working a corporate job, 9:00 to 5:00. I’d just got my master’s degree, and a series of events had happened that made me start reevaluating life for myself personally.
“Your system is not just the technical stuff, your system is how you wake up in the morning, what time do you normally start looking at emails or prospecting? What time you eat dinner? What time you go to bed? This is all a part of your system because one thing feeds the other.”
At the beginning of the pandemic, I lost my father, which made me question everything that I had done up to that point, including my degrees, including the job that I was in, because my father and my mother, they were big proponents of getting an education and making sure that you get a good, stable job so you can be able to support your family and yourself going forward.
With me finally getting a stable job, but not having a family—but being at this place where I’ve always thought I should be at to retire until I’m 65—it didn’t really fulfill me. That didn’t hit me until after my father passed away.
While he was here, I felt like I was fulfilling a duty that my parents always told me to get to. I’m not necessarily living for myself, I’m living for an image of society that we’re supposed to do, an image that we’re supposed to achieve. I’m in this image and it’s not really doing anything for me, but I’m on autopilot.
Then my father passes away.
That’s when emotions hit me to the core and I start questioning life’s purpose and what I’m doing with my life. With that being said, I remember being at my father’s funeral and people saying all kind of great things about my dad. He was cool, he was kind, loving.
I started thinking like, “What are they going to say about me? What impact am I leaving?”
When I got back to work, I instantly started losing passion for what I was doing because it came in a flow of just, “This is what you’re supposed to do and make sure you get a good job and make sure you make great money.” I was making great money. Matter of fact, I had just got promoted right after my father passed away, but the job itself was not filling that emotional hole that my father had left within me.
I remember being on vacation away from work. I had a conversation with my soon-to-be business partner, and I told him, “I no longer want to work at this job, but I don’t know how to leave. I’m making great money, everyone likes me, I don’t have any priors, and I’m comfortable.” I had that conversation on a Saturday in Hawaii.
I got back to work on Monday, and my boss called me into the office to tell me they’re letting me go.
Amanda: Oh my gosh, what? Wow. You just got promoted not that long before.
Jeremy: I’d just got promoted.
When that happened, for the first couple of hours I was upset. I didn’t understand why, I didn’t understand how, because mind you, this is in the middle of the pandemic, so I’m not registering what’s going on. Then after a while, I had to reflect and realize I’d just had a conversation saying I no longer wanted to be here.
This is the opportunity that I asked for.
Once I had that realization, I started writing down affirmations that I believed for myself. The more I wrote, the more I wrote, and the more I wrote, it snowballed into a book. I felt like more people needed to understand the emotions I was feeling, so they could empower themselves and take control of their own situations. I realized I was not in control, even though I was thinking I was in control.
That snowballed into a book called Did You Know? You Are the Shit!: Positive Affirmations to Overcome Self-Doubt. I self-published that on Amazon, and about a month later or so, I had a book signing.
At the book signing I’m giving a speech regarding how I got to this place, and my process, and everything that’s happened to me up to that point. The reception after that speech from people ages 18 to 75 relating to what I’m saying, wishing they knew the things that I had known previously. It hit me in a way that I’ve never understood I could feel.
That feeling I got from speaking and the impact of the immediate gratification from the feedback was what launched me. I thought my impact was going to be through writing this book, which it is, which it has been, but that requires people to sit down and read the book. A lot of us don’t sit down and read books because you might start and then you might look at your phone and there’s distractions and things like that. You might have to go somewhere and you put the book down thinking you’re going to get back to it and then a week goes by, two weeks go by, three weeks go by, and then you’re no longer reading the book. You’re not getting the main message in the book.
Luckily, my book is only about 20 pages and it gives you 100 pages worth of Journal notes. It’s primarily a journal with instructions for how do you use affirmations while we have negative thoughts and things of that nature, but yes, the speaking, the instant that I could have through speaking real-time was the thing that made me say, “Okay, this is what I want to do because the impact I have is immediate. It’s immediate.” That started my journey.
Amanda: That’s such a good story. Whenever I talk to speakers, I’m always like, “I know that story is true, but I also know they know how to tell a story.” [laughs] Do you think if you had not gone into your work and your boss called you back, would you be doing the job that you’re doing now?
Jeremy: It’s funny, I tell people that motivational speaking was not something that was in my cards at all. If I can go back just in my memory, growing up I wanted to be an athlete, I wanted to be a professional athlete. I wanted to play basketball so bad. When I got to college and that didn’t work out for me, I’d say, “You know what? My parents already told me education was a thing, so let me just study something, anything. What’s the thing that’s going to make me the most money?”
Started out with architecture, didn’t like architecture. I said, “Okay, I don’t want to just pick something specific that I’m not going to like and stick with it, so let me just do something broad.”
I chose business. Of course, went through junior college, went through undergrad at UNLV, and then I got my master’s in Business Administration. The whole time I still don’t know what I want to do. I’m just feeling like the higher I get in education, the more money I’m going to make.
Sports was my thing. Now, sports is not here. I really don’t know what I want to do, but I know business. I can at least apply to a corporate job.
I’m adaptable, I know my strengths, I can adapt to anything, so let me do the corporate thing and get the salary so I can get the house, so I can have the family, so I can just have this white picket fence life. Honestly, I don’t know if I would become a speaker if I didn’t have these experiences that forced me to tap into a higher self.
Amanda: You have to just do the thing at some point.
Jeremy: The perfect time to start was like 10 years ago. The next best time to start is now. I hear that quote a lot. I love that quote because time is not real in the sense that who says you have to go to sleep at night? Who says you have to wake up at 6:00? 9:00 to 5:00 says you have to wake up at 6:00 or whatever, but who’s to say that’s the real thing? Who’s to say when you get off at 5:00, you can’t spend two hours on a book?
You might have a family. There’s all these things that are clouding your mind, but if you were to really sit down and tap into what’s important, then you’ll be able to start prioritizing, “Okay, I thought I didn’t have time, but actually this time I spend cleaning up here or going to the grocery store here, or talking to this person here, or going to gym here, I can actually shave 10 minutes off each one and build up an hour or two to do what I want to do,” but having other things that are prioritized over your personal goals are the main killers of your personal goals.
Amanda: Yes. That’s exactly right. “I’ll do it whenever dah-dah-dah happens.” But you are the only one that can say, “I’m going to do it now. This other thing, I like watching this Netflix series, but we’re going to just wait. I’m going to do this for a while. It’ll still be there.” Yes.
Jeremy: My favorite affirmation is I am the director of my movie.
Amanda: I like it.
Jeremy: What does your movie look like? Right? You’re in control of it.
Amanda: That’s great. Well, this is a great story that you were doing a signing and that springboarded. I have never heard that story before. Usually, I suggest people build up their platform before they launch their book. I’m wondering whether your training in business helped you see a way that maybe other people wouldn’t have seen.
Jeremy: Yes. Honestly, I wonder that as well. I always wonder, my experience in business and my experience in past retail and work in corporate, did that assist me in where I’m at now? Honestly, I’m going to say yes from a building relationship standpoint.
I know how I did not like to be treated or talked to as a retail employee. I know how I did not like to be talked to or treated when I was working in corporate with the higher-ups, but I also know how I was motivated and how I was encouraged when I got to that point as well. I know what made me go. I had spoke with co-workers that we shared information regarding what made them go and what made them not be motivated, and the business side of things, what made every business go was just a system, a process.
In that sense, I knew when I got into speaking, eventually I’m going to need a process. Word of mouth is okay when you’re just starting out, you need that confidence to say like, “He does it.” That’s cool for a minute, but putting that system in a place, which I learned from real life business, and then using that system and then combining that with actual personal relationships that actually make your system run, because my system is built off of relationships, customer relationship management and understanding how to nurture those relationships is the way that I think that my business experience has helped me out.
Amanda: Yes. The system piece is so crucial. When you’re talking about your system, I assume that’s getting leads and reaching out to places you can speak and that kind of thing?
Jeremy: Yes. Gathering leads, understanding where leads come, understand the time of year that certain things take place, keeping in touch with certain people, making sure that you’re a person of your word and you’re actually following up, not only with that person, but most importantly you’re following up with yourself. You told yourself, “I’m going to contact this person because they’re not even expecting me to contact them, but I’m going to contact them because I need the reassurance that I did my best effort to reach out to them for what I need to do.” The thing about business when you’re working for a corporation is you’re not responsible for everything.
Amanda: That’s exactly right.
Jeremy: You can just do your part and the hamster wheel’s going to go, but when it’s yourself, you have to play multiple hats and you have to do it for yourself. Be a person of your word for yourself, your future self depends on who you are now.
Amanda: Yes. That’s exactly right.
“Growth is uncomfortable, but it comes to a point where you realize it’s you versus you.”
Jeremy: The reason why you want certain things is because your future self has it and is like, “Please just do it,” and it feels weird because it’s like, I’m procrastinating, why do I feel weird? Because you have it, but you’re like taking your time to get there. Your future self is getting older and older and older.
Amanda: Oh my gosh, that’s so interesting.
Jeremy: It’s a weird concept, but I finally believe we live in this parallel universe where we are working and so is our success, at the same pace, and we meet an apex. When you stop to take a break, so does your success, you’re moving simultaneously. I’m not saying don’t take a break. Breaks are perfectly fine to calm down, to get to recollect, things like that, but you have to understand that concept of moving forward.
This is just what I believe. I don’t know if this is out there. I don’t know. I just think when you’re moving, so does your success at the same time. It just makes sense to me that every time you accomplish a goal, that’s like you and your success meeting at the apex, and then you have a new goal and it’s like every time you meet, you’ve accomplished it because your work is directly related to what’s happening on the outside of it.
It’s one of those things where if you sit down and you sit with it, it’ll make more sense. These are just things that I feel like I think about on the daily, because it makes sense that if I sleep, I’m not getting anything done. If I’m working, on the other side, the universe is working with me.
Amanda: That makes sense. Exactly right. You’re putting in your part, the universe will put in its part, but you’re going to hang out here and the universe is just going to come pick you up. Not a thing.
Jeremy: Nothing gets handed to you, nothing’s going to fall in your lap. You can’t get into certain rooms unless you do certain things that puts you in position to get in that room. Who’s in that room? Somebody who you might need to be connected with to get you to where you want to go. You can’t get into that room unless you put in the work to get to that room.
Amanda: It takes some vulnerability. I think a lot of times people don’t want to do those cold calls and whatever, is that they’re like, “Oh my gosh, are people going to think I’m stupid and I have no business being–” all those things you say to yourself in your head. I think that in my experience, if you can do that kind of vulnerability, you also can be a really effective speaker because that is also vulnerability to say, “I’m just going to assume people here can get something out of my message. I’m going to assume people can get something out of my story,” and so you do it even though it’s scary.
Jeremy: Absolutely. It’s not comfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. That’s why people have growth spurts, and it’s painful, right?
Amanda: That’s right.
Jeremy: Physically it’s painful. Growth is uncomfortable, but it comes to a point where you realize it’s you versus you. If you’re not reaching out to this person, they don’t know you want to reach out anyway, so either you’re going to sit with it, not do anything, and actually get desperate to the point where you do it because what else are you going to do because you know this is your only option.
Or you’re going to make that decision immediately and say, “Well, what’s the worst that can happen?” They say no, and then you’re going to become numb to the rejections, even though you know, it still hurts.
Amanda: No, that’s true. There’s days that you just got to go pout a little bit. [laughs] It’s like, “Okay, come back the next day,” whatever.
Jeremy: I’m all for taking a week or two off to just settle down.
Amanda: Yes. I also like that wording, actually, like settle down or calm down. Recognizes that you’re activated.
Tell me a little more about what were you presenting when you gave that book signing speech.
Jeremy: It was really emotional, honestly. The whole period, it felt like a spiritual movement. I dedicate the book to my dad, so if you get my book, he’s on the front cover. Inside the page there’s a dedication. I just felt like I had his spirit guiding me the whole time. When I set it up, even to get to the book signing—
[chuckles] Okay, how do I say this and not make you feel like, “He’s just lying”? Because everything I’m about to tell you really happened. My book is called Did You Know? You Are The Shit!: Positive Affirmations to Overcome Self-Doubt. It’s about believing yourself to the point where no one else can really tell you what you already don’t even know about yourself.
In the midst of trying to find a place to hold this book signing in Pasadena, where I live, I contacted this famous bookstore in Pasadena. I was fortunate enough through a city councilman to be connected with the owner.
He had gave me his number, gave him a heads-up, and he said, “He’s ready for you. Go to his house and go pitch yourself.” Went to his house, had tea.
Amanda: Love it.
Jeremy: Had my book. I’m explaining to him the concept. He’s looking it over. He’s like, “Oh, this is amazing. Well, we would love to have this in the store, but let me check with the buyers to see if the buyers would be receptive to having your book in my store.”
I said, “Awesome.”
Something in my soul was like, “Look for another location.” I found another location, but I was dependent on his location, this major bookstore in Pasadena. This other location was a community center.
Two weeks later he sends me a text, and he says, “Hey, Jeremy, our buyers are uncomfortable with the title of your book. If you are willing to change the title, we may be able to do business.”
The irony of my book being called, Did You Know? You Are The Shit!: Positive Affirmations to Overcome Self-Doubt, I then had to implement what I just wrote about and let him know, “It’s okay, I appreciate your time, but I’m having a book signing at this cultural center. Please show up so you can see the reception of the actual meaning of the book and not the title.”
Amanda: That’s great.
Jeremy: These things have to happen for your character to be built. I said, “I’m not doing that because I’m confident in my product. I don’t have doubt. I’m telling people about not having doubt. I’m not going to change what I’m doing and not be an example.”
“I strive for people to understand that I’m not speaking to you from a mountaintop, I’m speaking to you because I’m in the fight with you. Everything I’m trying to tell you as advice is things that I’m using now that is working for myself.”
When I had the signing at that cultural center, instead of it being at this bookstore, then it was all on me to now decorate. I had to go into Party City and go buy a bunch of stuff. I had the help of one friend who was helping me out, setting up, decorating, made some calls to some friends who I knew their parents had baking companies and they could just cater. I called some family members who do spiritual work and I had them come and sell tarot card readings and try to make a feeling of spirituality that engulfs my book.
Amanda: Yes. I love that.
Jeremy: What I was offering was an experience. I was offering a safe place for people to be themselves, have fun, understand what it means to relax and not doubt yourself. There was a lot of music. It was a great time. People were mingling. I did my signing for the first couple of hours and then my speech at the end, which was my first time speaking in front of a public crowd.
Amanda: Were you nervous?
Jeremy: No.
Amanda: I’m not surprised, actually.
Jeremy: I know it sounds weird. I’ve been asked, “Are you afraid of public speaking?” It’s like, “No.” I get the same butterflies that everybody gets before they get on the stage, of course, but I credit to my parents for, as a kid, putting me in talent shows to do Michael Jackson in front of random people.
Amanda: I love it.
Jeremy: That had to build the thick skin. That was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever done. I remember that feeling of when I was 9 or 10, having to be in front of audience of over a hundred parents—or at least it felt like there were over hundred parents—as a little kid on a stage alone. Speaking is nothing compared to that as a kid!
Amanda: It seems like everything else was in place in that event, too, that you were really going to feel grounded.
Jeremy: The support of the cultural center, they helped me out with marketing. They called some people around the city to come support. I had random people want to take pictures with me reading the book and supporting me.
That really gave me the confidence to say, “You know what? You’re stepping into your power, and this is what it means to control your energy. This is what it means to be able to dictate what’s happening.” I just wanted to be able to share that with everybody. I’m glad I was able to share that with the people that were there, to let them know that the road to get there wasn’t easy, and it’s still not easy. I’m growing with everybody I speak with.
I strive for people to understand that I’m not speaking to you from a mountaintop, I’m speaking to you because I’m in the fight with you. Everything I’m trying to tell you as advice is things that I’m using now that is working for myself.
Amanda: That’s the best kind. Nobody wants to hear advice that’s research-based, and it’s totally distinct from anything that person’s done. You want to hear if the person’s been through it and now they’re going to help you come through.
What’s your best piece of advice for somebody that wants to get into motivational speaking?
Jeremy: On the business side of things, I would say just to research the industry. I’ve heard that myself before I got in, but I want to clarify to you what I feel like industry research is.
People will say research the industry and not tell you what that means. They’ll tell you, “Go to a speaker’s bureau website and see what people speak about and then choose your topic,” or “Go see what they’re making at certain events to see what you can compare yourself to make at certain events.” I’m not going to tell you to research that kind of thing because everybody’s individual and everybody’s different and everybody has different connections to why they even got to the places they are.
When I say research the business side, I’m saying research people’s personal stories as speakers, like the one I’m giving you right here, as far as how I got to where I’m at. Research people’s personal stories, then go look at their actual speeches to see what they talk about. Are they including their personal story in the speech? Are they talking about something different? Then correlate that to the actual speaking, to make your message based on what you’ve been through.
Research the business, understand the system, because that’s going to take time to understand what a system is. Your system is not just the technical stuff, your system is how you wake up in the morning, what time do you normally start looking at emails or prospecting? What time you eat dinner? What time you go to bed? This is all a part of your system because one thing feeds the other. Waking up feeds the business. The business feeds your mindset that makes you want to work out, that makes you want to eat, that gets you tired, that makes you want to sleep on time to wake up on time to do the same thing over again because it’s working for you.
Research the business, understand systems, understand your own system.
On the speaking side, develop your message, your core message, what you speak about, and relate it to how you even want to be known because it’s all packaging, it’s all branding. That was a loaded answer, but I would say on the business side of things, research it. Everyone’s natural thing is going to be, “How much do I make?” That’s a natural thing. My advice would be focus on what you’re passionate about and the money will follow. Don’t focus on the money. You’ll be chasing money and then chasing money does not lead to happiness.
Amanda: You probably aren’t going to get the jobs. Anytime I find myself too focused on money, I can just hear like, “You’re pushing that person away because you’re so concerned about the money.” People sense that a million miles away.
Jeremy: Feel it off of you, like, “Oh, they just want my money.”
So think about your own system. Do you take the time to take care of yourself so you can take care of your business? A lot of people have families, they don’t have time to take care of themselves. You always have time to take care of yourself. You always have an extra 30 minutes, you always have an extra 10 minutes.
Amanda: I love it. This has been such an uplifting thing. Do you do consulting—one-on-one stuff?
Jeremy: I do mindset coaching.
Amanda: Oh, that’s good. I was going to say you should absolutely do that, because I’m like, “All right, going into the rest of the day feeling good.”
Jeremy: I do mindset coaching. Passionate about that as well.
Amanda: Awesome. So good to connect with you. Have such a good day, and I’ll be in touch soon.
Jeremy: All right, you have a good day as well.
