Often when people feel called to write a memoir, it is because they have experienced something so very hard, struggle over hurdles and strife and have come out so much better and stronger for it on the other side. When they reflect on their journey and what they have learned, they want to help others and inspire them to face their own lives and struggles with hope and wisdom. But how do authors ensure that wisdom and uplifting message makes it to the page for inspiring memoirs?
Memoirs have the unique power to transform individual struggles into universal messages of hope and resilience. In this video, we share four essential secrets that will help you craft a memoir that not only resonates deeply with readers but also inspires them to overcome their own challenges.
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Universalize your Struggle
When writing inspiring memoirs, one of the most critical yet often overlooked goals is universalize your personal struggles to create a connection with a broader audience. Your life and your story are as unique and individual as you are yourself. The conflict you overcame is specific to you and the details of your story may not be relatable to everyone, but that doesn’t mean they can’t take something powerful away from reading your story that does apply to their own lives.
When I first talk to authors about how they envision the audience for their memoir, they often picture someone who very closely aligns with the topic of the memoir and what the writer went through. Those who want to write about abuse and divorce picture others who have escaped similar relationships; those who faced scary ordeals from a medical diagnosis imagine their audience in people have the same diagnosis. While surely people who have gone through or are facing going through the same difficult times you did are part of your audience, they are probably not your whole audience.
While it may seem intuitive to target an audience that shares your exact experience, the true power of a memoir lies in its ability to transcend specific situations and tap into broader human experiences. Take, for instance, Patrick Gagne’s memoir “Sociopath.” Despite the rarity and stigmatization of her psychological condition, Gagne successfully makes her journey relatable by framing it as a quest for identity and self-discovery. This approach allows readers from diverse backgrounds to find common ground in her story. As you pen your memoir, think beyond your specific circumstances and highlight themes that are universally relatable, such as the pursuit of identity, resilience in the face of adversity, and the search for belonging. By doing so, your memoir will resonate with a wider audience, readers of inspiring memoirs who may not share your exact experiences but can relate to the fundamental human struggles you depict.
Inspiring Memoirs Weave the Struggle Throughout
It may be a first-draft instinct to get to the “inspiring” part of the memoir as fast as possible, showing the “after” picture in big celebration and in the highest contrast relief we can manage. Half or three-quarters of the way through the story, they are already on the new life, the new perspective, the inspiring after image that shows how much growth there’s been. The instinct is to leave the struggle behind in the story just as you have in your life.
An inspiring memoir doesn’t just recount a journey; it vividly contrasts the struggle with the triumph by weaving the struggle throughout the entire narrative. This technique is crucial for creating a compelling and relatable story. Tara Westover’s “Educated” masterfully employs this strategy by interspersing scenes from her difficult upbringing with moments of her later successes. This constant reflection on her origins, even as she progresses, helps readers appreciate the full extent of her transformation. It also shows, very truthfully, that it didn’t all happen at once.
Think about a before-and-after picture set. The bigger the contrast, the more “inspiring,” right? If one person can go from A to Z then others can, too. However, when we see a huge contrast like that, often it seems less inspiring than it is defeating. We are left to only imagine the huge, monumental effort that is in between. Without the details, that effort remains shadowy and feeling like the impossible. But if you weave that struggle throughout, you can show the gradual gains, two-steps-forward, one-step-back times you experienced, and that is where the real inspiration lies. Not only the contrast between before and after, but all the stages in between.
For your memoir, consider how you can maintain this thread of struggle. Incorporate flashbacks or scenes that revisit the challenges you faced, even in the later parts of your story. This continuous juxtaposition not only highlights your growth but also reinforces the emotional impact of your journey, ensuring that readers remain deeply engaged until the very end.
Inspiring Memoirs Use a Familiar, Authentic Voice
The voice of a memoir is a critical element that can make or break its connection with readers. A familiar and authentic voice invites readers into your world, making them feel as if they are listening to a trusted friend. Your reader may not see themselves exactly reflected in your experiences, but an authentic voice can draw them in like an inviting conversation. The best writing to connect with your audience is the kind that doesn’t feel like writing at all to read. It becomes instead the voice of a new friend in our minds, directly communicating and connecting the way we do with people we meet in our lives.
Stephanie Foo’s memoir “What My Bones Know” is a prime example of this technique. Foo’s conversational style, influenced by her radio background, creates an intimate and engaging narrative. For your memoir, focus on writing as you speak, capturing the nuances of your natural voice. This approach will make your story more relatable and impactful. Authenticity in voice fosters a deeper connection with readers, making your memoir not just a story, but an inspiring journey they can see themselves in. Strive to be genuine in your narrative style, and your readers will be more likely to find inspiration in your words.
Embrace Imperfect Triumph
This last secret for inspiring memoirs goes hand in hand with weaving your struggle throughout. For the same reason you want to skip to the after picture as soon as possible, you might want to end your memoir with total victory and absolute triumph over all the adversity you present in the book.
But no one’s story ends with 100% triumph. That’s not relatable and can strain or sever the connection you have built up with you reader.
Embrace the imperfect nature of your triumph. Rather than presenting a neatly wrapped conclusion, leave room for ongoing growth and reflection. Wendy Davis’s memoir “The Fight You Don’t See” illustrates this beautifully. Wendy relates her story of wanting to be a politician since she was a child. As she grows up and eventually runs for office, she learns how much opposition there is to both women in politics and fundamental change and progress. Though she runs a campaign that shakes the status quo with how close she came to victory, she did not win. The book ends with her reflecting on what is next for her and how she’s going to take what she’s learned on to the next challenge.
By ending her story with a sense of continued reflection and potential for future growth, Wendy makes her journey more relatable and inspiring. Readers see that personal growth is an ongoing process, not a final destination. As you conclude your memoir, consider leaving some aspects of your journey unresolved or open-ended. This approach not only reflects the reality of life but also allows readers to project their own aspirations and struggles onto your story, finding inspiration in the shared journey of continuous growth.
