You’ve thought about becoming a speaker for a while. Maybe you’ve poked around LinkedIn to see what speakers do. Maybe you’ve reached out to a speaking coach or started to write a book. Or you might still be in the process of convincing yourself you actually have something meaningful to share.
Wherever you are in this journey, you’re on your way to getting your message out there…
But will anybody actually listen?
If you want your audience to truly hear your message, you’ve gotta give them a reason to care. As Mike Spivey, a seasoned motivational speaker, cautions, “The vast majority of public speakers talk about what they know. They don’t talk about what the audience needs to hear.”
Motivational speaker Mike Spivey
Too many new speakers spend their time making notecards, practicing their speech in front of the mirror, buying flashy new outfits, and searching for the smartest, most mind-blowing quotations. They forget the most important part of every powerful speech:
Connection.
Relationship-building, Spivey notes, should always be the central goal of speaking.
So how do you create an unshakable bond with an audience in the short time you’re on stage? We asked three experts to weigh in. What they shared will help ensure that your speech keeps your goal—to help others—front and center in your first speech and throughout your career.
Speak from the Heart
Once you’ve hit the stage, motivational speaker, author, and musician John Anthony Otero urges speakers to share from the heart. Otero focuses on supporting and uplifting others in his daily life. He translates that care to an intense, intimate connection when he steps on stage.
This might sound easier said than done, but as Otero points out, speaking from the heart is the most straightforward approach to nailing your presentation. Bringing a genuine desire for connection to the stage can help new speakers overcome many common fears. As he notes, “You can be the worst speaker. You might do everything wrong. You may even look horrible. But if you speak from the heart, and you touch those strings, and you touch more than three or four people, you’re in.”
To connect with your audience, lean on storytelling. Otero notes, “Everybody has a story. It’s the one thing that will connect you to me more than anything else.” Find that story, Otero suggests, not by thinking about yourself, but by thinking about how you can uniquely help the people in your audience.
Use Metaphor
But how do you get your audience to listen in the first place? Author and mindset coach Deano Sutter suggests using metaphor. As a speaker who addresses a huge range of audience types, he understands that many listeners are preoccupied with day-to-day concerns.
Author and mindset coach Deano Sutter
Sutter cares deeply about helping his audiences understand the power of mindset, a topic some may initially resist, so he’s developed ways to “elbow [his] way in…to create the space so they can hear the message.” Crafting thoughtful, powerful metaphors gives him leverage to persuade audiences to listen and process.
Sutter’s go-to metaphor compares the brain to a supercomputer. According to Sutter, we can all reprogram our operating systems to be happier, healthier, and freer—but doing so requires that we feed our minds the right messages. Just as computers can only run on the programming they’re given, brains follow the programs we input through our thoughts.
The metaphor is straightforward. But he doesn’t explain it right away. Instead, he paints a picture of the supercomputer, gaining audience interest. Once they’re curious, he reveals his true meaning. Doing so helps them “relax and be comfortable. Instead of having to process information, they’re able to be there and be present.” Only then are they ready to hear his real advice.
Embrace Vulnerability
Both Otero and Sutter have one thing in common: vulnerability. People want to see the real you on stage—a sincere, genuine human who cares about helping others more than they care about boosting their reputation and accolades.
Spivey, too, leans into vulnerability with both his content and his approach. When he speaks, he doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff. He shares openly, drawing both from his successes and his failures.
Motivational speaker, author and musician John Anthony Otero
But even more importantly, he sees the entire speaking experience as an opportunity to create a genuine connection with his audience. He explains that standing in front of an audience is one of the most vulnerable experiences there is. When you’re in front of an audience, you truly need them. Without their encouragement, participation, and support, the presentation—and you—will fail. That’s not a reason to panic. It’s a reason to appreciate the collaborative nature of every presentation.
“What is vulnerability if not saying to the world ‘I can’t do it without you’?” he asks. The question is at the center of his approach to speaking.
And by putting vulnerability front and center, Spivey argues, you not only strengthen your own position. “Being vulnerable and out there is a two-way street,” he says. “It helps me, and it helps my audience.” Listeners process information more easily when they feel comfortable—by inviting audiences into a relationship, he also invites them to take what they need from his presentation and walk away with a seed of positive transformation.
The Relationship Connection
There are many ways to define “success,” in speaking, but we believe the most important metric is how deeply you help others. While many are drawn to speaking for the allure and perceived glamour of getting in front of an audience, the actual work is in providing something valuable for those who gather to listen.
Otero, Sutter, and Spivey all emphasize relationship-building to ensure that they never speak at an audience but always to them and with them. While this is more nuanced and challenging than practicing your speech in front of your dog, it’s also more rewarding. That level of authentic vulnerability requires a lot of a speaker—it can be scary to let your guard down when you’re in front of a crowded room—but the rewards are endless.
After all, you started with a message you needed to share. Sharing is never about just one person. It’s about coming together to build a healthy, uplifting community.
