A memoir is telling a real story from your life, but it’s actually quite a bit more than that. Crafting a memoir that resonates requires more than recounting events—it demands a well-defined, powerful message that runs like a spine through the story. In this video, Amanda discuss techniques for developing your memoir’s message so that your book will engage readers, give your narrative purpose, and ultimately make your memoir unforgettable.
Sometimes when you don’t know how to start, it can stall your dreams for months, even years. We have helped so many writers not only get started but see the project through the very end! We have created a great free resource to help you make a plan to finally tell the story that lives in your heart. Download the free Memoir Method Checklist today to get started.
Define a Narrow Core Topic
If you follow this blog series closely, we have discussed often the importance of two centrally defining elements of memoirs: the core topic and the key message.
Starting your memoir begins with defining the core topic, a single element that stands out as the spine of your story. Many memoirists fall into the trap of trying to include too many elements or even recounting entire lives, making it difficult for readers to connect with the story. Instead, narrowing down to a focused topic gives readers a strong foundation and deepens engagement. Think about it this way: your core topic frames your story with a specific focused lens. When you take a picture, the lens can capture a lot of details, but there is a central focus which draws the eye and clarifies and gives perspective to everything around it.
In the same way, your core topic keeps your focus on what you what your readers to take away from the book, whether it’s overcoming adversity, embracing change, or finding your identity, by narrowing in on the concrete part of your story that best carries that theme, whether its a journey recovering from illness, taking on a specific new challenge like running for office, or choices you made that changed how you saw yourself in the world. With a clear topic, your memoir gains the momentum and depth that will captivate readers.
Your Memoir’s Message Drives the Book
The key message of a memoir is the beating heart of the book, giving it purpose and direction. A memoir’s message is more than a lesson—it’s the central idea that readers can connect with, regardless of their own backgrounds. Think of it as the “why” behind your story, the belief or insight that motivated you to write. Developing a message that goes beyond specifics to a more universal truth allows readers to engage deeply, even if they haven’t experienced the same challenges or joys as you have. Consider crafting this message with simplicity, focusing on a core idea or lesson that carries throughout your book. This clear, intentional message helps ground the story and reinforces the impact your story can have on others.
Some writers shy away from this part of the process because defining your key message in a sentence or two sometimes results in a sentence that feels, well…cheesy. Universal messages when they are distilled down to a their most basic form can feel a little obvious, but the way you define your key message in a single statement doesn’t actually appear in your book that way. Your key message is not bluntly stated, but woven through each chapter and scene. In this way, you’re taking your reader on a journey to help them feel the truth of the message on a visceral as well as intellectual level.
Your Memoir’s Message Should be Universal
For a memoir to truly resonate, the message needs to be relatable beyond the specifics of your life. Think about the memoirs you read (and you should definitely be reading memoirs). Many of them are not going to be the stories of people whose lives are just like yours. Even if there’s a commonality in their core topic to your life–like the experienced a divorce or a painful loss–their unique experience isn’t going to be just like yours. There in fact may be no recognizable overlapping “fact” between you and the author of this story. However, we read these stories and we find connection in them anyway.
So when you start the process of sharing your own story, instead of focusing solely on facts, try to identify the emotional core or “truth” behind those experiences. This might be themes like resilience, courage, or self-discovery. By tapping into these universal emotions, you allow readers who haven’t lived your life to still connect and feel inspired by your story. People may not share your exact experience. When you convey the deeper emotions and challenges behind your journey, they can relate to the humanity in your story, making it memorable and impactful.
The Golden Thread
For your reader to learn that key message on that gut level, consistency is key.
Think of it as a thread woven through every chapter, a subtle reminder to the reader of what you want them to take away. But how can you balance this without sounding repetitive? Start by including moments in each scene that reflect the core message. It may be through reflections, decisions, or lessons learned along the way. Your memoir’s message is a not ruler you’re hitting your reader with on each page. Rather, it’s a shining thread that you’re using to piece together each element of your story, like turning scrap fabric into an intricate quilt.
This consistent reinforcement gives your memoir coherence, deepening the reader’s connection to your story as they gradually absorb the message you’re sharing. When done well, this method keeps readers engaged and gives your memoir a profound sense of purpose.
Your Message Carries You Through, Too
If you’re a first-time author learning everything you can before starting your book, or you’ve started your project and find yourself stalling out and getting stuck, recentering yourself on your key message remninds you why you wanted to write in the first place. For authors, finding this message is a moment of clarity that sustains the writing process and helps them produce a memoir that leaves a lasting impression on the audience.
It’s also good practice to read other memoirs with attention to how they are delivering their universal key message through the specific lens of their core topic. If you’re also feeling the strain of this past election season, Wendy Davis’s The Fight You Don’t See is an amazing place to start. Wendy’s core topic is the story of her running for political office in Utah. It’s focused and concrete, but throughout are supporting flashbacks that illustrate who Wendy is as a person and reinforce her key message. Her book’s message is that power structures are always pushing against us, but if we believe in freedom, liberty, and democracy, we have a responsibility to fight back against them. Now more than ever, it’s a powerful story to connect to.
