There are many ways to write a memoir, but even with all the variations and different approaches, the main phases are generally the same: development, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing. Many first-time writers will often feel like they can go directly into drafting stages, especially if they know their subject matter as well as their own lives. However, what often happens is that writers are still doing development, but in a way that feels like drafting. Those initial drafts then must be evaluated and often re-drafted with more attention to structure, cohesion of theme, and either hewed into concision or filled out with missing pieces. It can still be done this way—and many authors even like to go through the process this way. But many first-time authors and memoirists get surprised and bogged down by this, and we have found over and over that treating development like a very different step to drafting, focusing on outlining and making a clear plan, saves a lot of the headache down the line. So we are sharing today our seven steps to outlining a memoir, watch below or scroll to read on.
Before we get into today’s post, we wanted to ask—do you have a plan for actually finishing your memoir? If not, we know you aren’t making the progress you hoped for. That’s why we developed The Memoir Method Checklist. This free guide (and video training!) will take you through every single step you need from idea to published marketable book. Grab it now at https://pageandpodium.com/checklist
Don’t overcomplicate.
When you first start researching outlining a memoir, you may encounter lots of complex literary structures like “The Hero’s Journey.” Many of these structures were first developed by literary and historical scholars like Joseph Campbell, who was writing to describe patterns found in story telling across the centuries, but not necessarily as a how-to guide for writers! While Campbell’s and others’ observations are powerful and compelling, trying to use them to reverse-engineer powerful stories is not always helpful. It can derail your project, or cause headaches as you try to fit a square peg in a round hole. That said, the options are not sticking to a complex structure like the hero’s journey or abandoning outlining a memoir and developing structure all together.
Step 1: Freeform Writing
We can call this step a number of different things—from the “brain dump” to free writing to a mind sweep. It’s hard to organize things into a structure if you don’t first have an overview of what material you want to organize. If you’ve attempted a draft before, or you have journal entries, blogs, essays or other musings, you’ll also be gathering and categorizing them. In this step, you’ll be trying to create a master list of all the stories, ideas, message pieces, and concepts from your expertise that you want to include in your book. (This last piece may not apply—some memoirs are tied deeply to professional expertise and some are not.) The goal of free form writing is not to follow each thought into the details, but to keep yourself up high in a 10,000 foot view. This is not a single-sitting effort.
The material on your list should be varied. You will need stories, of course, but you will also need concepts and parts of the key message you learned along the way. Plan for this process to take several sittings over the course of a few weeks.
Step 2: Decide your core topic
We have said many times on this blog that a memoir is not an autobiography. Autobiographies are for historical figures or household names. You don’t need to be a known figure to have a memoir, but that memoir needs to have a set and clear topic beyond your life story. This helps your memoir find its audience. When you review your brainstorm list from step one, try to find the central point that all the most important stories ideas touch. The core topic will help you find not only your main focus, but also establish the period of time that will act as your book ends.
Step 3: Craft your key message
Related but distinct from your core topic is your key message. If your core topic is what your book is about, then your key message is what you want your audience to learn and apply to their own lives, even though their circumstances will undoubtedly be different than your own. Another way of looking at it is that your core topic is concrete, something observable by the senses, and your key message is something abstract, something we can come to understand is true in our hearts and minds, but not necessarily “see.”
What is it that you have learned in your life that is driving you to share it with others?
When we state the key message in a sentence or two, don’t be surprised if it sounds a little, well, cheesy. Stating abstract truths often do come across as cheesy, because when stated simply, they seem a little obvious. Obvious truths weren’t always obvious to us though, sometimes we had to learn them through experience. And it never hurts to have the lesson repeated. Your key message may also be something similar to things you’ve heard before.
That’s okay, because your key message is not going to stand alone, and it may not ever be stated as baldly and simply as you do in this step within your actual book. Your message will be tied to your topic, and together, your topic and message will be the twin pillars to form your book.
Step 4: Finding your Starting and Ending Points
As I noted earlier, your core topic will help you find the starting and ending points of your story. Now, this doesn’t mean that this will be the first and last pages of your book, as there are some ways you can move around things or highlight things slightly out of order. You may also have flashbacks and reflections on more current events that are outside of these book ends. However, your starting and ending points establish the core period of time that you will be covering as the main narrative focus.
You’ll probably find that your starting point is not in your childhood. That is not to say that some background from your childhood will come into play, but it’s not the focus of your topic, and therefore not where your starting point is. There are exceptions to this, of course, but they are uncommon. Readers want to get to the reason they picked up your book—and that is your core topic.
Step 5: Filling in the central chapters
The next step is filling in the central chapters. In the Memoir Method, we have developed a way of approaching this that balances the need for structural turning points with enough flexibility that you can apply your story to it, without feeling like you’re trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
We recommend looking for three interior turning points—at about 25%, 50%, and 75% through the full story.
At the 25% mark, we call that a “desperate step.” Now, perhaps you didn’t think of this as desperate at the time, but the desperate step should be a choice you made because you had to, because you were reacting to something at least mostly outside of your control.
At the 50% mark, we call the turning point the “misguided step.” This step is more under your control. You are making a clear decision and often your heart is in the right place, but you didn’t know or understand enough to make the best decision. This is where it is good to remind yourself that strong memoirs are not stories about perfect people living perfect lives. This is about how you learned the lesson of your key message, and that includes all the mistakes you made.
At the 75% mark, you have an epiphany. We know—“epiphany” is such a big word. We don’t mean a lightening flash, apotheosis, or the moment when you solved all the mysteries of life. The epiphany is just when you first fully understood the message you are trying to convey to your audience. This doesn’t mean you were only able to make perfect choices after this—maybe you’re still trying to use your epiphany the best way you can.
Step 6: Writing out Chapter Summaries
Drafting is a long process, and in a few months you’ll thank yourself for writing out what you had in mind for each chapter. These summaries do not need to be long, 150-200 words per chapter is usually plenty to encapsulate the purpose of the chapter.
Step 7: Get Feedback and Revise
The other purpose of writing out your chapter summaries is to do so in a way clearly enough that you can share with someone. When development, there is a moment to take all these interior, solo thinking and sorting out tasks, and turn them outward facing to communicate them with others. Getting feedback on your outline is a bit controversial, but we find that it’s very helpful to see where there may be gaps in logic, what feels off-topic and what needs to be filled in. A second-hand perspective on that can show you where your outline needs adjustment, and it’s much easier to do big picture structural changes to an outline than to a full manuscript.
If you would like to write a memoir, but what you feel like you’re missing is support through the process and accountability to keep you making steady progress through to the end, we’d love for you to check out The Memoir Method.
