Do you have an amazing story to tell, but you’re just a little bit nervous about whether people are going to want to read it, whether it’s going to do well in the market, and whether you’re really going to be able to accomplish this thing you’ve been dreaming of, a book about your life?
I have found is the most common thing that holds people back from starting that memoir is they’re just so worried that nobody will read it. I know it can feel vulnerable to get your story out, to spend so much time and money to get that book in the marketplace. These tips will not only help you feel ready to write—they’ll also make sure your book is primed and ready to hit the marketplace. Win win!
So let’s talk about the five things you must do before you start writing your memoir.
Define Your Market
Whenever we think of marketing, all we mean is putting that product in front of the people who want it. That’s the market. When you set out to write a memoir, I want you to think about who your market is. Now the mistake that so many people make is that they say, “Everybody. I think everybody could get something out of this story.”
Probably everybody could, but what everybody won’t do is spend their time and their money to read your book. The people who are going to purchase and read your book is a very specific subset of the general reading public. Before you start your memoir, think about who is it that I most want to reach.
Here’s how you can do that. First, define for yourself what you want the book to do for you.
At Page & Podium, we work with a lot of authors whose books have a clear message, a clear meaning.
Usually, they want to get something across either to their younger self to help them along, or they want to raise awareness for a particular cause. Their goal is not simply bestseller. Their goal is to change the world in some way, whether that’s changing people’s lives, whether that’s changing the way that social and political structures are set up, whether that’s raising awareness to a particular charity or cause, whatever it might be. Your market is going to be nestled inside of that goal.
If your goal, that first goal I gave, was that you want to change people’s lives, you need to decide which people you mean. Are you talking about single mothers? Are you talking about early career professionals? Are you talking about your kids or your grandkids? Who is it that you’re talking about? That’s going to help you define your market and give you a lot of valuable information on whether you feel like you’re going to be able to reach those folks and how much it’s going to motivate you to do so.
Choose One Single Theme
The number one mistake that I see is that folks just try to put everything but the kitchen sink (maybe even throw the sink in if you got it!) into that memoir.
If you have been through a lot of traumatic experiences, it can be tempting to throw them all in. If one dramatic story is good, surely 20 would be even better!
But here’s the thing. Readers want to follow one story. They want one takeaway that they can use and apply to their lives.
Page & Podium Exercise
On a piece of scratch paper, note cards or post-its, list all the possible stories, all the possible ideas, and all the possible message takeaways. Don’t filter. List all of them, one per line or one per card or post-it.
It’s not uncommon to have a hundred note cards in front of you when you’re done. Don’t panic if that’s you! That probably means you’ve got more than one memoir and that’s okay as well. Lay them all out and group like with like. Which things go together? You’re going to have different clusters and different groups.
In the end, choose one of those clusters and make that your theme. Then go back through your cards. Those that relate to your theme can go in the “in” pile. Those that don’t should go in an idea parking lot—they can go into your next book, but they don’t fit in this one.
This exercise is going to make it so much easier to make a cohesive memoir that really speaks to your reader and filters out the noise.
Speak to a Mental Health Professional
Before you start writing a memoir, please speak to a mental health professional.
I know in a lot of communities this is so highly stigmatized that people just do not feel comfortable talking about therapy or seeking out a therapist, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. But writing a memoir stirs up all the stuff you’ve been through.
I see this even when I’m ghostwriting for someone. As they read the draft it can sometimes be upsetting and unsettling. Clients have said, “I cried and cried and cried. I’m taking the weekend off because reliving that was just so visceral.”
A therapist will help you process and find meaning from the events that you want to share and, if it’s going to be a good memoir, you must be able to make meaning from those experiences. A therapist will also help you work through all the stirred-up events and emotions from your past through the process of writing your memoir.
Please make sure before you start your memoir that you have somebody to talk to.
Put Together a Preliminary Pitch
The fourth tip is to put together a preliminary pitch. I intentionally position this as number four because, by this point, you will have already defined your market, chosen one main theme, and you have a professional to talk to.
Next, we need to determine the structure of your book. A useful step here is to create a short pitch. We’ll use the format used by Publisher’s Marketplace, which is the industry site where all the big deals get circulated. Using their format, we are going to put together a pitch to help make sure you know very clearly what your book is about.
Here are a few examples of what this looks like:
Retired detective Mike Moy’s BAD TO BLUE: THE TRUE STORY OF A CHINATOWN GANGSTER WHO BECAME AN NYPD DETECTIVE, in which a gangster-turned-NYPD detective breaks his silence to reveal his life in the era of violent NYC Gangs, explaining why they flourished and the lessons they teach us today, to Marilyn Kretzer at Blackstone Publishing, for publication spring 2025, by Tina Wainscott at Seymour Agency (world).
Conflict mediation expert Samar Ali’s SWEET TEA AND OLIVES, a memoir and a guide to peacebuilding that provides a road map to forging bonds and healing wounds in our increasingly polarized society, drawing lessons from the author’s experience growing up as a Muslim American woman in Tennessee, her career in national security, international law, and peacemaking, and her resilience and commitment to hope in the face of struggle, to Terezia Cicel at Viking, by Mollie Glick at CAA (NA).
Rideshare driver and intelligence analyst Jonathan Rigsby’s DRIVE, a father’s darkly humorous yet humanizing account of working long hours as a rideshare driver, highlighting the harsh reality of gig-economy work as well as the private moments of vulnerability that happen when left alone with a stranger, to Joanna Green at Beacon Press, for publication in spring 2024, by Max Edwards at Aevitas Creative Management.
As you can see in the examples above, you’ll begin by highlighting the reasons you’re especially qualified to tell this story. Sometimes this comes naturally, while at other times, it requires some thought. Your life experiences inherently make you credible, but consider other aspects such as your background, upbringing, training, or volunteer work. What else contributes to your authority? If readers sense your authority from the beginning, it will significantly help the clarity and impact of your ideas.
Consider a scenario where you are a head volunteer for the local food bank. That could be really helpful if you’re talking about raising yourself up either from poverty or from a working-class background to having a successful career as a doctor or a social worker or something like that. How did you raise yourself up and how can your experience as a volunteer, as a social worker, your experiences as a volunteer or in your profession can be important in telling your story.
The next step is to put a one-word description of your book’s tone. For instance, if your book chronicles your journey from poverty to social worker and volunteer, aiming to inspire readers, you might label it as “heartfelt.” Alternatively, if your writing style leans toward humor, you could describe it as “gritty but humorous.” That’s three words, but you get my point.
We’re going to put in just a short one-word if you can, description of what your book is. Let’s say that we’re going to have it be a heartfelt book. We’re going to try to aim for the same audiences that watch, say, Hallmark movies. These readers often tend to read authors like Janette Oke, some that are really either Christian or on the Christian edge. They really, really want those powerful, true stories.
Let’s start our pitch. Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Food Pantry Volunteer, [Your Name], has published their heartwarming, heartfelt book titled [Your Book Title].
By this point, most people I work with usually have a working idea for their title. While titles can evolve, it’s a crucial aspect to set in place. It’s going to help how you’re thinking about the book. It brings your ideas and crystallizes the ideas you committed to when we explored the themes.
Next, think about what message will you convey? Will you encourage readers to engage more in their local community by sharing your journey from hardship to success? Or will you recount your struggles, from a working-class background to giving back to your community? What’s the essence of your story in just one sentence? That’s the key.
Your pitch will be short, around 50 words, and it will follow this template:
[Authority] [Name]’s [Title] [Message].
Here are a few more examples to see how this plays out:
Georgetown graduate, activist, and business owner Rashema Melson’s THANK YOU FOR THE TRAUMA, including the author’s national headlines as “the homeless valedictorian,” and how she moved beyond the trauma of homelessness, poverty, and abuse to turn her pain into her purpose, pitched for readers of UNBOUND and THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE, to Kierna Mayo at One World, at auction, by Mia Vitale and Sarah Passick at Park & Fine Literary and Media (world).
Business leader and investor Daria Burke’s EXPANDED, part memoir, part methodology — a narrative of scientific self-exploration that follows the author’s journey of healing from a traumatic childhood of abuse and neglect through decades of therapy, infused with science in the emerging areas of neuroplasticity and epigenetics, in the pursuit of turning trauma into a superpower, to Krishan Trotman at Legacy Lit, by Mia Vitale and Sarah Passick at Park & Fine Literary and Media (world).
Ukrainian refugee and lead singer of Gogol Bordello Eugene Hutz and Katherine Taylor’s ROCK THE HUTZPAH: UNDESTRUCTABLE UKRAINIAN IN THE FREE WORLD, pitched as similar to Flea’s ACID FOR THE CHILDREN and Dave Grohl’s THE STORYTELLER, a colorful and candid account of the musician’s rise from Ukrainian refugee to rock star, actor, cultural ambassador, and political activist — and a love letter to Ukraine, to Matthew Holt at Matt Holt Books, by Mark Gottlieb at Trident Media Group (world English).
Remember, you’ll revise and tighten this draft. Right now, we’re not pitching to publishers, as the book isn’t written yet. However, this exercise helps you decide on elements before even starting to write the book. As we shape and reshape it, decide beforehand what you want this pitch to be.
Have a Budget
Our last tip is to create a budget. I know, it’s the one everyone dreads. When it comes to budgeting, publishing involves a multitude of factors.
Even if you’re not ready to consider publishing yet, I want you to think about the support you need.
Page & Podium Exercise
Break down the support you need in three categories: time, expertise and money.
1. How much time do you have?
2. How much expertise or skill do you have?
3. How much money do you have?
Now, those can vary greatly.
We work with a lot of people who have no time, but they have money. That’s where we can assist, helping you write your book in a collaborative process that eases the time commitment.
On the other hand, you might have more time but a tighter budget. In such a case, explore options like local community colleges, writing groups, or classes for feedback and guidance. There are numerous ways to tackle this journey independently, but it’s essential to gauge your actual time availability and financial capacity. This aligns with your skill and expertise level.
The one thing that I will shout from the rooftops is that you absolutely have expertise in your story. It’s uniquely yours. Embrace that fact.
However, successfully crafting a memoir entails more. If you lack formal writer’s training or aren’t deeply connected to the literary world, that’s perfectly fine. Just recognize that you might need additional assistance or more time. Whether hiring a book coach or even a full ghostwriter, or joining writing workshops and groups, there are pathways for support.
Assess your time, skill, and financial situation. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge that writing a book consumes a significant number of hours. This clarity will guide you in making informed decisions to ensure you’re well-supported throughout this writing journey.
While I’ve presented these as five easy steps, in truth, they will demand some time and effort. Prewriting entails outlining and note-taking. In a memoir, you’re placing yourself on the page, making yourself publicly vulnerable when you release your story into the world. This act is brave, bold, impactful and even life changing. It’s a big thing.
Do your prep work by following these five tips before you get started and set yourself up for success.
And for personalized help, check out our 7-question Book Strategy Quiz. It’ll give you personalized advice based on your personality, goals, and topic. Check it out at https://dasauthorservices.com/quiz
I encourage you to continue this journey. If I can help, I hope you’ll reach out. Happy writing!
